Danger Boom
by Loki21
Summary: X-Men / Avengers crossover. The X-Men must help the Avengers. Chapter 5 the Conclusion. Thanks for R & R.
1. Default Chapter

"All right, Jubilee

Disclaimer: No, no. I own nor Wolverine and any X-Men, nor Hawkeye and any Avengers (darn). I always loved Hawkeye and Wolverine, both such bad-attitude guys. This piece is a work in progress, so all suggestions are welcome. Thanks for everyone who kindly reviewed my previous stories: I do that for fun, for yours and mine.

Verse: general comics (X-Men and Avengers), no specific era. Very general, so Hawkeye ain't with the Thunderbolts. Sorry about that, but I prefer the Avengers of the '70s.

Note: *...* is communications overs channels.

********

Danger Boom

Chapter 1

"All right, Jubilee. Go to bed."

Jubilee jumped from her chair, obviously startled in the middle of a dream by Ororo's entrance in the monitor room. She wasn't suppose to sleep on guard duty. But being caught doing so didn't annoy her as much as the lost of the dream she was really enjoying. Hopefully for the teenager, Ororo wasn't one of the X-Men's telepath...

Angry, she hurridly grabbed her can of Jolt and the leftovers from her evening snacks.

"Y'know, a knock at the door is seen as an act of civility in most of the societies..." pointed out Jubilee as she made her way towards the door.

"If you had not been sleeping, you would have heard me come in," retorted Storm, always calm. The Weather Goddess sat at the comfortable chair, ready for a long night of security duty.

"Nothing never happens anyway. It's soooooooo boring..." started the teenager, but a loud voice boomed from the speakers and stopped her ranting.

*Hey ShellHead, you copy?*

"Who is this?" asked a puzzled Storm as she studied the settings on the computers.

"Huh... nothing... mustave hit a key, y'know, puters and stuff..." tried to explained Jubes. She interiroly prayed that Storm would buy it.

The conversation continued over the channel.

*What do you want, Hawk?*

*Just buggin' you to pass time, what can a man do while flying over that darn desert?*

*Must I remind you, this is NOT a channel to chat on? For a guy in charge of security...*

*Can it, TinHead. You want my ETA?*

*Sure, go ahead.*

*Ok. So you calculate if for me, 'kay? Cuz right now, looks like the puter's just gone crazy on me like a virgin watching the Cheapendales.*

*OK. Hold on. ETA is 40 minutes. You should be just over Colorado. What seems to be the matter with the Quinjet?*

"Quinjet?" Storm turned to look at Jubilee, a frown on her face. "Where you spying on the..."

But the voices cut her.

*I don't have a clue, but we're goin' down, man. Way fast for my hide, if you want my two cents.*

*Hold on, I'm trying to take control from here.*

A few seconds passed while neither Storm nor Jubilee dared to speak.

*Doesn't work. You better send the cavalry, ShellHead. And rent rooms for us at the nearest ER.*

*This is no time for jokes, Hawk. I just lost your echo. What was your last position?*

*Last position? C'mon, man. There's no time for personnal tidbits.*

*Hawk, will you stop wasting our time?*

*Look, we're crashing and I have no frigging clue what was our last position!!! You happy?! Hold on.*

Statics replaced the voice for a minute.

*You copy?*

*Go ahead, Hawk.*

*Ok. Steve's sure we flew over Denver a few minutes ago. So you better send the recovery team this way...* Statics. *... fast now...*

*Hawk? Still with me?*

*... snow.... lucky day....*

And the communication stopped.

"Steve's in trouble! We must do something!" shouted Jubilee, tossing her things on the nearest board. "Let's get everyone!"

"Steve?" Storm wasn't that much intimate to the Avengers to know any of them by their real name.

"Captain America!"

"Jubiltation. Calm down. This is not our place to intervene. You should NOT play with channels, and, most of all, monitor the Avengers' communications. This is against all rules."

"Hey, you heard them, they are crashing!!"

"Yes, indeed they are. And by the time we could be there, help will have reached them long ago. Now, go to bed. You are in enough trouble already. Cyclops will not be happy about you." Now Storm started to be angry.

Spying on other teams' high security channels was something no one did in the heroes' gig. This was simply a No-No.

Jubilee was fuming. But she knew Storm would not alert the X-Men. This wasn't the X-Men's duty. She walked by the computer board, looking at the buttons set on the A-1 Avengers First Security Channel.

"Maybe you're right. I hope they'll be okay." She looked at the can of Jolt dropping its content on the board near the door. "Huh, sorry for the mess..."

"I'll clean it. Now go to bed," replied Storm as she looked for something to use as a towel to clean the board.

Jubilee's hand flew over the computer and pushed a few keys as Storm was distracted at cleaning the mess.

"It's not like the Avengers are our enemies, right? If we needed assistance, I'm sure they'd come for us."

"Jubilee," sighed Storm. "We would help them if they asked for it. But for now, you did enough for one night. I'm sure those onboard the Quinjet made it just fine."

"How can you be so sure of that?" retorted Jubilee, fists on her waist.

Storm pondered for a few seconds between dragging the teenager out of the room or answering her question, which wasn't the easiest of both alternatives.

"So?" insisted Jubilee.

*Indeed. How can you be so sure.... Storm, I presume?* came the voice over the speaker.

*******

Minutes later, in the X-Men's communication control room.

"Put me on visual," dryly ordered Scott Summers.

Storm did as asked. The waking up of the team had been a necessity after Jubilee had effectively made her spying known to the Avengers. Right now, Scott, Jean, Storm and Jubilee were in the communication room. Gambit and Rogue had been dispensed from the trouble, being in town. Professor Xavier was in Washington, D.C., for a conference. Wolverine was no where to be found at the moment.

Cyclops, the leader of the X-Men, wasn't happy at all to have been awaken to... apologize to the Avengers. What the teenager had done was a high breach in security. The Avengers were not to be taken lightly. There had been squirmishes between the X-Men and the so-called Mighty Avengers and no one looked for a new one. Fighting the anti-mutant groups was already enough for the X-Men.

The screen flickered and a man in red and golden armor appeared on it.

"In the name of all X-Men, I apologize for the... incident, Iron Man," started Cyclops. "I assure you, in my personal name and all the X-Men's, that this will never occur again."

Jubilee whispered. "The crash?"

Scott sighed. "And I offer you our assistance, if you happen to need it," he concluded. That was the least he could do, but to offer the X-Men's help, since they knew about the accident. But surely, the Avengers would not need it.

*Being alone in here, I can't but speak for myself. Apologies accepted, Cyclops. But...* Iron Man's voice trailed off.

"But what?" asked Cyclops.

*As for the offer of assistance. As I said, I'm alone in here at the moment. Most of our members are in... er... Away. We could not reach the crash site as fast as you could. Sure, I could see with the FF...*

"The FF?" asked Jubes.

"Fantastic Four," coldly provided Storm. "Now, keep quiet, Jubilee."

"I can send a team in a minute, if you want," replied Scott to the Avenger. Having the Avengers actually *ask* for help was something that made Scott feel a bit happier about the whole thing. From the corner of his visor, he looked at the monitors to make sure this communication was indeed recorded.

*I'm not asking. But since you offered...* came as the answer from Iron Man. Obviously, the Avenger didn't want to ask for help more than Cyclops wanted to apologize to him in the first place.

"Any details on what might have caused the malfunction and the crash?" asked Cyclops. ~Besides having Hawkeye as pilot?~ mentally added Scott.

*For what I've understood, some of your members heard as much as me,* came the sarcastic reply from Iron Man.

Cyclops looked sternly at Jubilee.

"Alright. Send the Quinjet's flight datas and last coordinates here. We're on our way. We'll open a channel directly to the BlackBird," concluded Cyclops.

*I stay here.*

Scott turned to face his team. "Jean, you'll relay from here. Storm, you're with me. And you," Scott turned to Jubilee. "... I should ground you for at least a whole year. But you'll come with us, since Wolverine ain't around."

The team left the communication room and headed for the Blackbird. Just as they were ready to take off, Jean's voice announced them that Wolverine had just shown up and was heading to join them.

A rather dishelved Wolverine indeed made it to the Blackbird in time. He sat down and just had time to buckle before Scott flew the jet over the mansion.

"Had fun at Harry's?" whispered Jubilee.

"Naw. Just the usual..." answered Wolverine.

"Huh-huh. Sure. Whatever. Just hope the chick wasn't half cheap as the perfume she wore. Gees Louise, next time take a shower or something," grinned Jubes.

Logan ignored that remark and went on with the matter at hand. "So, kid, in what kind o' trouble have ye put yerself into?" asked Wolverine.

"Our dear Jubilee spied on the Avengers' channels. Nothing less. And now, we have to go help them," answered Scott before Jubilee could open her mouth.

"What's the plan?" wondered Wolverine.

"Plan? Simple. We go there, we see what we can do, help them if needed, get them back and GET BACK TO BED!" spat Scott.

"Ok. But leave me out of the bed part, Slim. You ain't my type," replied Logan, enjoying himself now. Scott was pissed off, so everything was cool.

"You'd have to get that cheap perfume, Scott," laughed Jubilee.

"Very funny. But remember, don't screw that one... er, no pun intended. I wouldn't like the Avengers making comments to everyone about our ways," finished Scott.

"Wow, THAT's the tricky part," whispered Jubilee. Which deserved her glares from everyone.

Thus the X-Men flew to the snowy mountains of Colorado, late at night, to help the... Avengers!


	2. Dirty Laundry

Chapter 2

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)

Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. No Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.

*...* is communications over channels.

*********

Danger Boom 2: Dirty Laundry

As soon as he received the coordinates of the crash, Cyclops turned on the autopilot and established communication with Jean back at the mansion.

*Jean, you hear me?*

*Yes, Scott.*

*I'll open direct channel with Iron Man. Stay on.*

Scott slightly turned to look at his team-mates. "Now guys, stay quiet. Let's act like pros."

Sigh, giggle and snort where his only replies from his team-mates.

*This is Cyclops, of the X-Men. Avengers, you hear me?*

*Perfectly. I have already transfered the flight plan datas to your computers. What's you ETA?*

Scott looked down at his screens. *Estimated Time of Arrival is 27 minutes,* answered Cyclops.

"If we don't crash," whispered Jubilee.

Scott glared at Jubilee. "Stay quiet. It's all your fault if we're in here right now."

"Wow! MY fault? You mean, like, *I* made that Quinjet-thingy crash? 'scuuuuuuuuse me, didn't know I had the make-planes-crash-from-distance gift!" ranted the teenager.

"Jubilation," cut in Storm. "Must I remind you that it is YOUR spying over restricted channels that made us involved in that mission."

"Hey, Stormy. Wasn't you I spotted flying low over the boat-house the other night? I wouldn't talk so mighty about spying," pointed out Wolverine.

"I have not the slightest idea what you are talking about, Logan. Maybe you had a few drinks to many... again," retorted an outraged Storm.

"What did you say, Logan?!!" cut in Scott, realizing the implications of what the Canadian had said.

"You should look for curtains sales, Slim. That's all I'll say," laughed Logan.

Storm looked straight at Cyclops. "Do not listen to him. He must be experiencing some alcohol-induced flashbacks from his past."

"Hrm. Yeah. Whatever." Cyclops returned his full attention to the Blackbirds control. But the word *curtains* kept haunting his mind.

"Next time, 'Ro. Try and fly lower. I'll catch ye and show ye all you wanna see," whispered Wolverine, as he winked at the Weather Goddess. "And more."

"In your dreams, Logan!"

Wolverine leaned forward toward Storm. "Ye're already in them, darlin'."

"C'mon, Wolvie! You just got laid, like what, 30 minutes ago with a chick wearing the cheapest perfume around? Wow, you hunt them with yer nose or what? Geez, one more reason to take a shower!" said Jubilee, wriggling her nose.

"Ye're a bit to young to talk like that, kid," growled Wolverine.

Scott laughed. "You hear that? And who had shown her to talk dirty?"

"Watch it, Slim. At least, she knows about life. Can't say she got any useful hints from you," retorted Wolverine, getting a bit mad. He never liked people talking about his bad influence on Jubilee. Scott knew it all to well, and bugging Wolverine was always fun. To a point. Which point was getting closer by the second.

"Huh, 'scuse me, guys? I don't need any of you for that. You know, that thing they invented long ago, called TV? There's that channel, Discovery..." started Jubilee.

"That is a very good channel for you, Jubilation. You will learn many interesting things watching it," approved Storm.

"Yeah. Like, the other night, I watched it with Gambit." She looked at Wolverine. "Wolvie, did you know that smoking can get you impotent?"

Scott burts out laughing at the idea of an impotent Wolverine but refrained to comment, probably from male solidarity.

"My mind cannot accept the concept of a sentence including the words -impotent- and -Wolverine-," ironized Storm. "Unless you add the words -dead drunk-. Which would then make a lot of sense."

"Same here," laughed Jubilee.

"Thanks, folks. Very funny," growled Logan.

"Anyway," continued Jubilee. "There was also this thing about sexual deviants and stuff. The Cajun's stories were way funnier. Sure, I knew the guy had to have some imagination, y'know, with Rogue and all... Gee, we laughed our guts out," continued Jubilee.

"No more television," blantly announced Storm.

"I'll have to talk to Gambit," remarked Scott, a frown on his face.

"Before I kill him," groaned Wolverine.

*Huh... Guys? This is very... huh... interesting... but could we keep our minds on the mission at hand?* asked Iron Man over the - left open - channel.

Cyclops glared at Storm. "You didn't put the channel on mute?!"

Storm shrugged indignatly. "You did not ask me to."

"Storm's right, Cyclops. And now all the Avengers will know about our little family affairs. Cool. Can't wait to hear the gossips! Very cool, Fearless Leader. Thankye!" ironized Jubilee.

"Not all the Avengers, Jubilee. Just Iron Man."

*I'm sorry to tell you, Cyclops, that all our communications are recorded and studied by the team members. Standard procedure. I am sure you understand.*

"Storm?" asked Cyclops.

"Priority channel muted."

*******

"Great. Now we'll be the joke around. I wonder why I bothered to ask you all to stay quiet," sighed Cyclops.

"I am sure the Avengers would not..." Storm's voice trailed off. Would they?

"Not what? Hey, you heard that metal-can over there? In case you didn't get it, they record and listen to all communications they get," remarked Jubilee.

*X-Men?* came Jean's voice over the Blackbird channel.

*Jean, you heard that?* asked Scott.

*Everything*

Long pause filled with sighs.

*If that can make you all feel better... I, hrm, took the initiative to look at some files we have on the Avengers...*

"Yeah, tell us everything about them! So if they try and make fun of us..." started Jubilee.

Scott stared at the teenager. Indeed, they had just scratched the reputation of the X-Men, bickering among them over the Avengers' channel like fans around the last poster of Hugh Jackman.

*Due to the nature of this mission, everything you can provide us as information will be welcome* replied Cyclops.

"Way to say, hey, give us the gossips so we can laugh back at 'em," whispered Wolverine.

"Tell me about Steeeeeeeeeeeeve!" shouted Jubilee, out of instinct.

*Hold on.*

"Storm, double check that the channel with the Avengers' on mute," asked Scott.

"Already done."

*Ok. I'll start with... the Wasp.* Jean's voice, despite the communication, convied very well her disdain at that Avengers' member. The X-Men's night at the 5th Avenue mansion wasn't forgetten yet.

*Go ahead*

Everyone in the Blackbird leaned back comfortably in their seat, ready to enjoy the -report-.

*Real name: Janet Van Dyne. Hrm. Pretty snoby name. Anyway. She's - and we guessed that already - a millionaire. She was, or is, married to the Avenger named AntMan, real name Henry Pym...*

Logan burst out laughing so loud, everyone jumped in their seat. "AntMan! And you guys worry about me being impotent???"

After everyone regained some composure, Jean continued.

*So, she was married to him. Then they divorced. Then they got married again. And I guess they'll divorce again, given the tread. This guy, a scientist named AntMan, was also known at some point as YellowJacket... and was quite pertubed, if not totally insane...*

"No wonder, with such a wife... Why didn't they call him StraightJacket?" commented Jubilee.

*Anything else interesting about her?* asked Cyclops.

*I never said I found anything interesting about her* came the instantaneous cold reply.

*Nor did I. OK, something about Iron Man?*

*Hold on.* Pause. *Iron Man: real name, Tony Stark, of Stark Industries. Another millionaire. Before he bankrupted. His identy is supposely secret. Hrm. Anyway. When he lost everything down to his last shirt - or armor, for that matter - he turned on alcohol. From that point on, another guy took his place...*

"I'd bet for his chauffeur," remarked Storm.

*You got it, Storm. His chauffeur. But then, Stark managed to settle his problems and got his job back as Iron Man. For now, I cannot say with which Iron Man you're in touch with, because there is no note on the chauffeur's fate.*

"Sent back to the junk yard," grinned Jubilee.

*What about the others?* asked Scott, curious. It was already obvious the Avengers were not better than the X-Men when it came to internal problems. He liked that a lot.

"What about Steeeeeeeeeeeeve?" asked once again Jubilee.

*Ok. Here are details on the Scarlet Witch. Mutant. As you all know, she's Quicksilver's sister, and Magneto's daughter...*

Loud growl, snort and hummps echoed Jean's last comment.

*Wow. She's... hrm... special, it seems.*

Jean using the word special wasn't to be taken lightly. It usually meant the person was way out of it.

*No surprise, with such a family tree* replied Scott.

"I wouldn't talk 'bout family trees, if I were you," laughed Wolverine.

*First of all, she and her brother had been raised by a..... cow....*

*A what???!!!* shouted Scott.

"A what???!!!"

*A cow named Bova. Told you she was special. Anyway. So she is known for having had a short affair with Hawkeye... That in itself puts her in the definite weirdo list... So after kicking him off, she fell for a guy named WonderMan...*

"Gawd, where do they get these nicks?" wondered Jubilee.

*WonderMan is an invulnerable guy. So the record says... just before there's a death notice on him. Anyway, so he died. His mind's datas have then been transfered to an android named Vision... Would you guess who managed the transfer?*

*I vote for that StraightJacket guy,* answered Scott.

*You got it, Scott. No only did he managed the whole procedure, but he ALSO had, by some bonds, been involved in Vision's creation. So, they got WonderMan's mind transfered to that android, and the Scarlet Witch fell for him... or, it...*

"Argh!! no wonder she's Magneto's daughter!!!!" shouted Jubilee. "I'm gonna be sick! Where's the puke bag???"

*You haven't heard half of it, Jubilee. Not only did she fell for him, but she had twins fathered by that android...*

"That is impossible, Jean. Robots cannot procreate. Hopefully," pointed out Storm.

"Even me know that," whispered Jubilee. "Puke bag, NOW!"

*You know that, I know that. But the Scarlet Witch, well, she projected her twins...*

*Huh?*

*Yes, Scott. She used magic to create her babies. That's weird. I told you she was... special.*

"Nutso would fit better," laughed Wolverine.

*We're almost at the rendez-vous, Jean. What else do you have on the Avengers?*

*I still have the Black Widow, Hawkeye, and a few others...*

"Do you have something on Steeeeeeeeve?" screamed Jubilee.

*Yes, Jubilee. I also have something on Captain America.*

*Go ahead, Jean. This is very.... enlightning.*

"To say the least," added Storm.

*OK. Here's the Black Widow's file...*

"Is there a requirement for Avengers to use a color in their name? Red, Yellow, now Black?" wondered Storm.

*Real name: Natalia Alianovna Romanova. She's from the former U.S.S.R., Russia. Formely a Russian spy. Then an Hydra spy...*

"What's Hydra?" asked Jubilee.

"Kind of the Hand," explained Wolverine.

*... She is known for having had an affair with Hawkeye...*

"Gee, the guy's a hooker or what?" wondered Jubilee.

*She, in a way, made Hawkeye recruited in the Avengers. The plot with these two is so long, you guys would reach Japan before I'm done reading it all. Which leads us to Hawkeye....*

"Skip him, get to Steeeeeeeve!" shouted Jubilee.

*Go ahead, Jean* prompted Scott.

*Hawkeye. Real name: Clinton Francis Barton. That guy's file is pretty long... I'll get to the point. Orphaned as a teenager... Trained in a circus with a crook named SwordMan. Fell into the Black Widow's trap, had a run in with the law... Joined the Avengers... Kicked a lot of baddies for a guy without any special power... Quit and rejoined the Avengers about 10 times...*

"Wow, that would be their own Wolverine?" remarked Jubilee.

*I would say so. So he had these affairs with the ladies I mentioned before. It seems that the most special notes on him are that he is Captain America's most trusted and reliable team-mate. Trained by him. Oh... and he's a jerk and has a big mouth. That latest comment is personnal.*

*And shared* replied Scott.

"That would definatly make him the Avengers' Wolverine," whispered Storm.

"Heard ye, Stormy," groaned Logan.

"Anything on Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeve?" begged Jubilee.

*Yes. Hold on.*

"Guys, we're there. Get ready for landing," announced Scott as the Blackbird moved down.

*Jean, thanks for the report. Stay on.*

"Argh........ what about Steeeeeve???"


	3. A few Booms

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)

Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. No Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.

*...* is communications over channels.

~...~ are thoughts.

**********

Chapter 3

"Storm, any reading on the radar?" asked Scott, manouvering the Blackbird, looking for the best spot for a landing in this mountainous region.

"Nothing, Cyclops. No trace of any crash site," answered Storm.

"Ok, guys. I am going to open the channel with the Avengers. Do I have to ask you to keep quiet this time?" asked Scott.

"We'll make you proud of us, Fearless Leader..." started Jubilee.

"NO! Just keep Q.U.I.E.T!" ordered Scott. He pushed a botton on the controls.

*Avengers, this is Cyclops. You hear me?*

*Iron Man here, I hear you perfectly, Cyclops.*

"You think it's the chauffeur or the millionaire?" whispered Jubilee to Wolverine.

"Naw. Talks like a prick. Must be the alcolo," grinned Logan.

Scott fumed. Couldn't they keep silent for just ONE minute? Hopefully, their chat couldn't be heard over the channel.

"Ok, but who was the alcolo, yet?" she whispered back.

"The bankrupted one, kid."

"The chauffeur was bankrupted?"

Scott had enough. "No, Jubilee, the millionaire was the bankrupted AND the alcolo, the other was his chauffeur. Now, SILENCE!" he almost yelled.

*Did I hear something about a chauffeur?* asked Iron Man over the channel, suspicion in his voice.

*No. It must be some statics. Hold on.* Scott put the channel on mute and turned to glare at Jubilee and Wolverine.

They both laughed so hard, Jubilee had tears in her eyes.

"Do I have to throw you both out of here?" he shouted.

"Try me, bub," growled Wolverine.

Scott got back to his controls. "Now, all of you, just keep quiet!"

He then pushed the ON button over the channel.

*Cyclops here. We reached the crash site. We cannot locate the Quinjet from here, so we'll land nearby.*

*Understood. I have an Avenger heading your way. Contact should be established shortly.*

"Which Avenger?" asked Storm.

*With whom are we to meet, Iron Man?*

"Oh gee, not the Scarlet Bitch.. er Witch! With Mother Cow and her faked kids... There's no puke bag in here!" whined Jubilee.

"Please, Jubilee, do not make fun of others, especially other mutants," admonished Storm. "Even Magneto's children," she added under her breath.

"Ah, forgot. You never met the Wasp, huh?" laughed Jubilee.

"Must give it to her, she has nice..." started Wolverine.

"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled an angry Cyclops.

*I beg your pardon?* asked Iron Man over the channel.

*Statics!* almost yelled Cyclops over the channel.

*I understand. Keep me in touch.*

Scott turned the channel on Mute. He quickly landed the BlackBird on a nearby suitable ground.

********

After Scott managed to safely land the BlackBird, he gave his directives to the team. Since they haven't been able to locate the Avengers' Quinjet from above with the BlackBird, there was no point getting Storm looking that way again. So she staid in the BlackBird, dispatching communications.

Cyclops, Wolverine and Jubilee walked out in the knee-high snow cover.

Wolverine's high developped sens of smell soon provided for a direction. He strode toward a rocky cliff, Scott behind him and Jubilee on their heels.

"I'll be lucky if I don't freeze my feet! Where's Bobby when you need him?" whine Jubilee.

"The professor asked him to check on the team members' accounts, so I guess he's off for a few days, if not weeks," explained Scott. The X-Men leader wasn't happy either about that nightly walk in the snow. Hopefully, Wolverine walking ahead provided for an almost cleared path.

"Hush," ordered Wolverine as he stopped on his tracks.

"Now what? YOU ask ME to shut up? Ah! Should I just..." started Cyclops.

"Avalanche!" yelled Logan.

In a split second, Wolverine had grabbed Jubilee. Jumping at the base of the cliff, he hoped this would protect them from the incomming snow.

The sound was deafening. In an instant, the whole landscape had transformed into a snow field. From their remotly protected place, both Wolverine and Jubilee struggled to get free of the snow that covered them up to the waist.

"Where's Scott?" shriked Jubilee.

"Stay there," ordered Logan. He jumped over the snow field, and walked around, sniffing for Scott's scent.

Judging that Cyclops was probably under a few feet of snow, Wolverine got on his fours to help find Scott faster, using his sense of smell.

"You'd make such a cute St. Bernard dog, Wolverine."

Startled, Logan raised his head to spot Scott sitting on the same rocky cliff from which he and Jubilee had found protection against the avalanche.

"What t'hell are ye doin' up there?" growled Logan, furious that he hadn't noticed Cyclops' presence before.

"I have no idea, but I'm glad I did anyway. Aren't you?" Scott jumped down and landed a few feet from Jubilee.

*Scott? Are you alright out there?* asked a concerned Storm.

But before Scott could asnwer her, a huge flash of lightning exploded, nearly missing Wolverine who nonetheless flew away.

Still high in his unplanned flight plan, Logan's back came in contact with something pretty hard, but invisible. It resonnated with a metallic sound but... there was nothing around. Wolverine fell to the ground, his back scratching against the non-existent thing, the pain, though, perfectly real.

*What was that?* asked Storm.

As Scott followed Jubilee in Logan's direction, wrestling against the deep snow cover, he managed to answer over the comlink.

*Storm, there's a thunderstorm and we sure don't need it. Logan's been struck.*

*I will take care of the thunderstorm* On that, Storm flew out of the BlackBird, into the cold nightly sky.

******

"Wolvi-ie? Are you ok-k?" asked a frentic Jubilee.

Scott arrived by Logan's side. "How-how is he-he?" he asked.

"Du-dunno. He-he's out co-old."

"Me-e to-oo," grumbled Scott.

"You be-better wa-watch i-it," she joked, looking down at him. "You k-know, i-it ain't go-ood f-for f-family."

"F-funny. Let's gr-grab him and ge-get back to the Bl-blackBir-ird," suggested Scott, now really scared about cold exposure's side effects.

As he moved to grab the prone body of his team-mate, a crack of light appeared out of nowhere in front of him. One split seconde later, the side of a metallic door hit his head and sent him flying away.

Jubilee jumped back, hands in front of her, ready to defend her uncounscious team-mates. Well, Wolvie first, but still.

Secondes later, a humanoid form stood in the door, staring down at her.

"Jubilation Lee?" asked the low voice.

"Steve?"

"Yes, it's me. What are you doing here?" asked a puzzled Captain America, as he looked down at Wolverine and Cyclops.

But the answer wasn't exactly what he expected.

"You, moron! You just crashed, so we came to save you! Darn, now Wolvie's out of it and you just knocked down One-Eye! Now help me get them in before they turn into Icemen!" she yelled.

Captain America looked at her, puzzled.

"Move it, FlagMan!"

*******

~I wonder how a thunderstorm could start in this vicinity. Quite unusual. I will fix that...~ thought Storm as she reached a high point in the sky above the BlackBird.

"I summon the Winds! Dispel these clouds!" she ordered the elements.

The winds rose and slowly dispeled the thunderstorm clouds. Satisfied of her timely intervention, Storm dove back to her team-mates.

Mid-way back to the ground, a lightning missed her by a few inches. How could that be possible? Furious and intrigued, Storm looked back up at the sky.

"Behold, mortal! By Balder's Beard, how dare you face the Son of Odin?!!"


	4. Goddess meets God

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)

Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. So, no Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.

*...* are communications over channels.

******

Storm glared at the man in front of her, in the middle of the nightly sky. That helmet with feather wings, and, most of all, this hammer in his hand didn't leave much mystery in Storm's mind. That guy was Thor, one of the Avengers. The one Iron Man meant was to meet with them. The one she didn't really want to meet... ever.

If she had known THAT Avengers was on the mission, Storm would have stayed in the BlackBird. Hey, even knitting a scarf or something would have been a thrill for her. Now what, goddess to god, she had to stand her ground.

"Stay where you are," warned Storm.

"By Sif's Hair, Odin's Son will not obey you, mortal," he shouted back.

*******

Back at the Quinjet, down below.

Captain America grabbed Wolverine and hauled him in the Quinjet. Hopefully, the life support system wasn't damaged, so it was warm inside.

"Wolverine is quite heavy," remarked Cap.

"Yeah, right. He IS heavy. You have NOOOOOOOO idea how many times I heard that line, so could you, like, try and find something more original?" spat Jubilee, doing her best at dragging Cyclops to the craft.

Jubilee looked around, looking for something. "Hey, where's your side-kick? You think he could stop admiring himself in a glass and give us a hand?"

"Hawkeye is trying to fix the computers," explained Cap just as he finally succeeded at carrying Wolverine inside.

"Well, so. Tell him he can quit. As soon as Wolvie's back, we'll get you back with us." She dropped Cyclops inside, and sprawled by his side, exhausted.

"For C-sake, Steve, will you shut that damn door?" came the voice from the cockpit.

"Yeah, what he says," concured Jubilee.

Just as Cap closed the Quinjet's door, Hawkeye joined them in the back of the craft.

"Hey, Steve, I don't think abducting X-Men is the best idea on earth," he grinned. "Especially Wolverine..." He then noticed Jubilee and kneeled by her side. "Hey kid, you ok?"

Jubilee blankly looked at the archer for a seconde. Did he just asked her how she was doing? She stared at Captain America and her mind played back the previous minutes. Hey, that FlagMan didn't even ask her how she was doing. She looked back at Hawkeye.

"Yeah, absolutly perrrrrrrrfect. My feet are like popsicles and if I don't catch pneumonia I'll say I'm lucky," she whined. "But Wolvie and Scott..." her voice trailed off as she looked at her team-mates' prone bodies.

"They'll be fine. We'll take care of them." He smiled at her. "And you know what? We got an emergency kit in here..."

"What a great idea. I would never have thought to have one..." she paused. "... in an AIRCRAFT! You guys get more original along the line, or are you just, like, plain amateurs?" she spat back.

"Hey, cool it, babe. What I was saying, is that in this kit... there's a bottle of... well, something Mathusalah here," he pointed at Captain America, "wouldn't touch with a ten-feet pole."

Hawkeye stood and came back with the said emergency-kit.

"Here," he handed her a bottle labelled Yukon Jack. "I always have one around. Not that I'm a drinker..."

"You can't even hold it," remarked Captain America.

"Yeah, at least, I try," came as the reply. "When they get all stuck up in their little incestous-like stories," whispered Hawkeye for Jubilee's ears only.

"Yeah, they're so weird..." she started.

"What?"

"Nothing. We have that too, y'know."

"Guesso."

Jubilee grabbed the bottle and opened it, wriggling her nose at the alcoholic fumes that reached her. "Wow. That's... that's..."

"That will be perfect for you friends. Especially for Wolvie," laughed Hawkeye.

Jubilee laughed too. "Yeah, I guess just the scent of that stuff will, like, make him all fresh and new! Let's try it."

"Very funny, Hawk. How are you doing with the computers?" asked Captain America.

"Got the communications back on line. But I cannot reach the Headquarters. Let's try something else." He stood. "You'll be ok, Jubilee?"

"Yeah, I'm not going out, if it's that bothering you," grinned the teenager.

Minutes later, in the Quinjet's cockpit.

"Was it Thor's voice I heard?" asked Captain America as he and Hawkeye were working on the communication computer.

"Yup, looked like ol' Goldielocks t'me," replied Hawkeye.

"Goldielocks!!! AHAHAHA!" laughed Jubilee, joining the Avengers in the cockpit.

"Hawkeye has a way to..." started to explain Captain America.

Jubilee sat on the floor, between the pilot and co-pilot seats. "Hey, no problem, Steve. I kinda like it. And," she paused, "well, if I had to hear the Avengers' story, I'd rather have HIM tell it. Ok, he's a jerk and all, womanizer and stuff, but at least he..."

"What are you talking about?" wondered Cap.

But at this point, the communication computer relayed an interesting – well, maybe – conversation between a certain Weather Goddess and a certain Thunder God.

**The X-Men came here to help your friends** came in as Storm's voice.

*******

Back up in the sky.

"The X-Men came here to help your friends," explained Storm.

"By Heimdal's Bridge, Odin's Son's friends do not need thy help, mortal," hammered Thor.

Storm grinned. HE, a God? Huh! Maybe he could do tricky things with his hammer about the thunder, but SHE could do whatever she wanted with EVERY weather elements. He was in for a lesson. An overdue lesson.

Storm summoned the snow around Thor, just enough to make him realize just with whom he was dealing with: the Weather Goddess.

But Thor reacted fast, and using his hammer called back the thunder, chasing the snowstorm away.

"I do not wish to fight you," lied Storm. YES, she wanted to fight him, but over all, she wanted him to beat the dust! She also made a counscious point to NOT call him by his name. No need to add to his overflatted pride.

"Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female," yelled back Thor.

******

Back in the Quinjet's cockpit.

** Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female** boomed Thor's voice over the channel.

"He's, like, dead. Who would like, fight Storm? Hey, she's the Weather Goddess. Don't you guys know it?" joked Jubilee.

"Jubes... what are ye doin' here?" asked a low voice behind her.

She jumped and faced a rather groggy Wolverine. "Wolvie!!!!!!!!!!!" She hugged him. "I was, like, a bit scared, y'know..." She paused. "Ack! You smell like... hey, you drank how much?" she asked.

"Dunno, and don't care. So... hey, Cap." Wolverine looked at the archer. "Hey, hooker," he greeted him.

"Hey yourself, ground-squirrel. Back from fairies' land already?" replied the archer.

"I'll...." snarled Wolverine.

"No!" yelled Jubilee. "No killing, ok? Now, sit down. SIT! We've just got Storm and Thor on the channel... you guys have it recorded, hey? Ok, now... let's get back to the soap..." commanded the teenager.

********

Back, up in the sky, featuring the ongoing confrontation between Storm and Thor.

"Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female," yelled back Thor.

Mortal female? Storm was getting pissed off by the seconde. A female, yup. A mortal, yup. But the way this guy used the words made her real angry. Storm summoned the artic winds on him.

"By Idunn's Golden Apples, Odin's Son cannot allow you, mortal, to refrain him in his attempt to save his friends," shouted Thor. On that, a lightning nearly missed Storm.

"Golden Apples?" wondered Storm. "What are you talking about?"

"By Tyr's Hand, you mortal don't know Idunn?" asked Thor, intrigued by that mortal, interested in his god-lore.

"Hold it!" yelled Storm. "I got as far as Odin, Balder, Sif, Heimdal, Idunn and now, Tyr. Are you here to decline your pedigree or what?" Storm flew over him. "Or you do win over your opponents by boring them to death with your family history?"

Thor got furious. He threw his hammer at Storm. She easily avoided it.

"By...." he started. "By... huh...."

"Have a problem?" asked Storm.

"No. Odin's Son has no problem." But he flew toward Storm. "Gimme a chance, will ye?" he whispered to her.

He hurriedly grabbed a booklet from his waistcoat and rummaged in it for a seconde. "Ok. I found one..." he whispered to himself before he flew away from Storm.

"By Fenrir's Teeth, I summon you..." he boomed.

"Hey, Son of Odin. Isn't it Fenrir the son of your mortal ennemy, Loki?" laughed Storm. "You might want to find another bio in that book of yours..."

Storm definatly enjoyed meeting that Thor, after all. She always secretly thought that he was a moron. She wasn't deceived.

"By Frey's..... huh.... you know what, mortal."

"Know what? That Frey is the god of fertility. So, by Frey's what?" laughed Storm, having a ball up there.

"By Frey's... huh.... you know... huh... fertility appendice! Behold, mortal! The Son..." he replied.

"Yes, yes, I know. The Son of Odin, yada yada yada."

"Do not make fun of the Son of Odin!" warned Thor.

"Make me," replied Storm, happy that for once, she could use some of Wolverine's favorite quote.

(To be continued, if you folks want me to)


	5. Conclusion

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)

Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. So, no Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.

*...* are communications over channels.

******

Down below, back in the Quinjet.

Jubilee sits in the cockpit between Hawkeye and Captain America, respectively on the pilot and co-pilot's seats. Wolverine is somewhere behind her, sobbering up from the *medicine* provided by the archer.

"Hawkeye, try to establish a communication with Thor, or Storm," ordered Cap, worry that something bad could happen between the deities up there.

"Already tried, Cap."

"Cool!" cut in Jubilee. "Lets see who's gonna win. I sure bet for Storm," cheered the teenager.

"If he touches one hair on Storm's head, I'll..." growled Wolverine.

"Yes, yes. Ok, we know, you'll slice n' dice him," cut Jubilee. She looked at Hawkeye. "Any chance you got popcorn in this emergency kit of yours? Or Jolt, something?"

"Nope. Next time, send your order before..."

But the Avenger didn't have time to finish, as a red laser-beam hit the computers. Hopefully, he nearly missed and there didn't seem to be much damage.

"X-Men!!!!! X-Women, too!!! We're under a tact.... attack" yelled Cyclops behind Jubilee. He waved an empty bottle with the label Yukon Jack on it.

"I'll kill 'em!!" joined Wolverine.

Cap instinctively used his shield to protect him and Hawkeye from the laser-beams.

"Cyclops!" yelled Jubilee, her hands in front of her, ready to knock him off if necessary. "Get a grip! This is the Avengers, not our ennemies!" she tried to reason him.

"A venger? What are you takling... er talking about?" babbled Scott.

"Avengers! You know, Captain America, Iron Man and the others?" tried Jubilee once again.

"You mean... oh, the... THE Avengers!" realization hit a groggy Scott.

"Yes! So now, sit down and stop trying to fry them alive, kay?"

Cyclops slumped heavily on the floor, facing Wolverine. "Heyhey. The Avengers.... naw, I'm not sacred... er, scared of 'em."

Hawkeye and Cap got their attention back to the computers, but kept an ear on the two drunk guys.

"I'm not scared of anyone, bub," concurred Wolverine.

"THE Mighty Avengers.... ah! Even if they a tact... attack with that mellow... yellow StraightJacket guy..." continued Scott.

"Who's afraid of a man called AntMan?" wondered Wolverine.

"Yeah... their names are sooooooooo stupid! Take that sicko Red Bitch..."

"Wouldn't take her any way, man," laughed Wolverine.

Now THAT got Hawkeye and Cap's attention. Were these drunk X-Men laughing at their team-mates? Jubilee noticed the increasing dirty looks the Avengers gave to the X-Men.

She kicked her team-mates on the shoulder (getting a bruise for doing so to Wolverine). "Can it, guys. NOW is not a good time..."

"Jingle Bells... Jingle Bells..." started Cyclops.

"I hold you responsible for everything, Hawkeye," came from Cap as an omen.

"Hey, not my fault..." protested the archer.

"Yes, it is. You brought that alcohol onboard. You gave it to them. YOU are responsible. And if I were you, I would deal with both the computers AND the X-Men," came the sharp reply.

"They'll sleep in a few..."

But the sound of someone throwing up, then the odor, made a bad situation turn into hell.

"Ack!" yelled Jubilee. "He belched all over his lap! I'm outta here!"

"You ralph like a man, Slim," approvingly commented Logan. "Cajun's dinner... what was it tonite... gumbo? Smells like t'me..."

"HUSH, Wolvie! We're going to suffocate in here. We need fresh air or I swear I'll, like, die!!!" shouted Jubilee as she walked over Cyclops to find a non-air-contamined aread in the back of the Quinjet.

********

* We're going to suffocate in here. We need fresh air or I swear I'll, like, die* came Jubilee's voice over Storm's comlink.

"By.... by..." Thor renounced to find another family member of his to use in a sentence. "Oh, heck. Who's that?" asked Thor, stopping short at throwing his hammer at that Goddess.

Actually, she wasn't bad for a... mortal. Not bad at all. She was a good fighter and Thor could appreciate it. She had nice long hair, a perfect skin complexion, sexy lips... a pair of huge....

"This is my team-mate. The X-Men are in trouble. I must help them," announced Storm as she dove down to the ground.

But as she headed for the ground, a huge hand grabbed her by the wrist.

"I will help you," he proposed.

"Huh! By who's name?" she ironized.

"By mine, lady Storm." And he smiled at her.

She looked at the man. Hrm. Thor wasn't bad looking at all. Ok, she briefly thought, he could use another designer for his uniform. Viking stuff wasn't very fashionable nowadays. But these eyes, sooooo blue, just like the brightest of summer sky.... Ok, he might not be the smartest guy on Earth. How could she blame him, since he wasn't from Earth, litterally. So muscular.... hrm.... long, blond hair.... For a second there, she even wondered if he could use something else as well as he did with his hammer...... Hammer. Hammer.

She shook her head back to reality. "I accept your offer.... Thor."

*******

Back down in the Quinjet.

"Jubilee, don't open that door!" ordered Cap.

"And why not? Look, I have two choices here, and so do you. First, get suffocated, thanks to Slim..."

"Slim. Hey, that's me... I don't feel good.... gonna be sick..." grumbled Cyclops, effectively throwing up some more gumbo.

"Two..."

"Secondly," corrected Scott, still that stuck-up guy even if booze-busted and throwing up on himself.

"Secondly, get instantly frozen to death. I dunno for you, Mighty AVENGERS, but I prefer a quick and instant death..." ranted Jubilee.

"Don't listen t'her," babbled Wolverine, not totally sobered up.

Captain America ignored Logan's comment and moved closer to Jubilee. "Don't be scared, Jubilee. I promise you, no one will die."

Jubilee stared at him. "What? OF COURSE I know I won't die! Who do you think I am? A stupid kid or what? I just want to open that damn door for a second!" spat the teenager.

********

Out there, back to the deities.

"I propose that you open the door. Then I'll send fresh air in the Quinjet. I hope we are not to late to save them," said Storm.

"I will do as you wish, lady Storm. You, mortal..." he started, but Storm's whitening eyes stoped him. "I mean. For a mortal, you are..." he stumbled on his words.

"I am what?" wondered Storm, still floating in front of him.

"You are.... Words are innapropriate to convey my thoughts."

"Try some?" Storm really liked him more by the second. Hrm. What was on his mind? She sure knew what was on HERS.

"Even the most beautiful colors of Bifrost could not replace your sight, lady Storm. The Son of..."

"Hey, no son of anyone," warned Storm.

"Ok. *I* say you are the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on," he finally finished.

Storm smiled widely. Maybe he would think about laying something else on her?

"You are quite handome yourself, Mister Thor," she teased.

"Shall we help our friends? Then..." he suggested.

"Yes. Then... I mean, YES, our friends."

*****

Thor grabbed the handle and tore the door away. Storm summoned the winds (forgeting to select which winds, since her mind was totally focused on the muscles rippling on Thor's godily body).

"I didn't touch anything!" shouted Jubilee as the door disappeared in front of her.

Then the arctic winds threw her against the wall behind.

"Arctic winds?" asked Thor.

By the time Storm realized her mistake, the five occupants of the Quinjet were on the verge of being frozen to death.

She hurridly summoned the warmest wind around.

Wolverine, Cyclops, Jubilee, Hawkeye and Captain America were transported to the BlackBird by both deities.

*******

*We will reach the Mansion in approximatly 5 minutes, Jean*

*Does anyone need medical attention?*

Storm looked back at the passengers. Captain America was hugging his shield, Hawkeye his bow. Wolverine was hugging Jubilee.

No one wanted to hug Scott, no wonder with that awfull smell.

*I think Scott will need it* announed Storm.

*How is he?* asked a worried Jean over the channel.

*Our Fearless Leader will make it. But he will need a stomach wash* answered Storm.

Thor smiled at her. The Weather Goddess was also a very good pilot. She smiled back at him. He dared to put his hand on her knee.

"Hey, by Odin's Hammer, keep that hand away!" laughed Storm. But she pushed the engines to their limits to get back home faster. For the *then* part.

*Storm? You ok?*

Ororo blushed.

*I am in good hands, do not worry*

******

Well, that wraps it up. I dunno, I had to finish it one way or another. Hope you liked it. Thanks for the reviews, I really do appreciate them.


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